She was looking disappointed, yet somewhat relived when she concluded, after going through hell for several months: "It's a cleansing feeling to lose 90% of the people you thought to be your friends."
90%! I counted: indeed, only a mere 10% of her friends were still there, supporting her when she needed them. I felt lucky to be one of them. At the same time, though, I feared to have to go through the same experience, being let down by people I felt near and struggled so much to call my friends.
But things would come to closure sooner than I thought.
Christmas 2008 was revealing to me. Going through some harsh times, I chose not to write, not to call, not to be nice and not to speak up. To stop being Mrs. goody-two-shoes for once. To stop struggling for love.
And indeed. The 90% wasn't such a high number after all.
Some kitten told me once that holiday wishes are the result of the networking you had done in the previous year. This year, networking finally stopped to be a concern of mine, and Christmas became, in lack of a big meal, in lack of many calls, mails and sms'es, next to the three persons I love most, a feast of pure and simple joy.
Make this a tribute to the duck, the deer, the elephant, the squirrel and the turtle, who managed to show me that it's useless to collect stones.
You are my heroes of 2009.
Showing posts with label Squirrel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Squirrel. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Friday, October 10, 2008
No irony here
Why I love (my) boys:
1.Because they are childish their whole life through.
2.Because they are strong and tough.
3.Because they fall in love and forget all about No.2.
4.Because they are loyal.
5.Because they are afraid to say I love you but give themselves so adorably away.
6. Because they are smart and ambitious and aren't afraid of what life can get one.
7. Because they don't complain, but are still sensible enough to care.
8. Because they drunk-call. Or drunk-email. Or drunk-sms. And drunk-blog :>.
9. Because they fight to be happy and never give up.
10. Because they are sincere in a touching way, and insincere in a way that makes you want to hug them.
On deeper thought, that's why I love (my) girls too.
1.Because they are childish their whole life through.
2.Because they are strong and tough.
3.Because they fall in love and forget all about No.2.
4.Because they are loyal.
5.Because they are afraid to say I love you but give themselves so adorably away.
6. Because they are smart and ambitious and aren't afraid of what life can get one.
7. Because they don't complain, but are still sensible enough to care.
8. Because they drunk-call. Or drunk-email. Or drunk-sms. And drunk-blog :>.
9. Because they fight to be happy and never give up.
10. Because they are sincere in a touching way, and insincere in a way that makes you want to hug them.
On deeper thought, that's why I love (my) girls too.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The new man
"Since I started loving the girl, we don't have wild sex anymore, I just feel like caressing her."
"Why can't I have her, that I want, while the other one keeps ringing me?"
"I love you. Come on, go boheme!"
"I would hook up with another girl, but wouldn't that mean that I am unfaithful to her, whom I really love?"
"It's not like we are surrounded by dozens and dozens of women. Sometimes you have to know your limits."
"I wouldn't have slept with her anyway. Why should I meddle in such a long-term relationship, just for an one-night stand?"
Duck, elephant, turtle, squirrel, kitten, meerkat. Some more. All smart, accomplished and gorgeous men.
Being there for me when I needed a a soft shoulder. Asking why I didn't feel well. Telling me I'm beautiful when I needed it. Crying on my shoulder when he felt week. Making me coffee in the morning. Laughing at me when I felt on the street, but being there to pick me up. Forwarding me an email that I wrote ages ago in which I promised I will never stop being thankful for having friends. Calling when I was ill. Calling when I was happy, just to share. Calling when he was happy. Kissing me on the forehead. Being concerned when I lost too much weight. Telling me to look after his ex, because she is so insecure. Teaching me to love. Calling in the middle of the night. Drunk-sms-ing me just to share a feeling. Communicating. Fighting againgst forbidden feelings. Lying out of insecurity. Falling in love and never admitting it. Being jealous. Never leaving me any other choice but to love him.
The new type of man is responsible, shows feelings, speaks up for himself, is surprisingly emancipated, dreams of one great love and keeps trying.
For this, my dear boys, I bow to you.
LE: This post was a thank you note for all the support I received from my friends over the last weeks, even if I was so stupid as to keep silence on my need for it. I am very thankful for having you, my dears.
"Why can't I have her, that I want, while the other one keeps ringing me?"
"I love you. Come on, go boheme!"
"I would hook up with another girl, but wouldn't that mean that I am unfaithful to her, whom I really love?"
"It's not like we are surrounded by dozens and dozens of women. Sometimes you have to know your limits."
"I wouldn't have slept with her anyway. Why should I meddle in such a long-term relationship, just for an one-night stand?"
Duck, elephant, turtle, squirrel, kitten, meerkat. Some more. All smart, accomplished and gorgeous men.
Being there for me when I needed a a soft shoulder. Asking why I didn't feel well. Telling me I'm beautiful when I needed it. Crying on my shoulder when he felt week. Making me coffee in the morning. Laughing at me when I felt on the street, but being there to pick me up. Forwarding me an email that I wrote ages ago in which I promised I will never stop being thankful for having friends. Calling when I was ill. Calling when I was happy, just to share. Calling when he was happy. Kissing me on the forehead. Being concerned when I lost too much weight. Telling me to look after his ex, because she is so insecure. Teaching me to love. Calling in the middle of the night. Drunk-sms-ing me just to share a feeling. Communicating. Fighting againgst forbidden feelings. Lying out of insecurity. Falling in love and never admitting it. Being jealous. Never leaving me any other choice but to love him.
The new type of man is responsible, shows feelings, speaks up for himself, is surprisingly emancipated, dreams of one great love and keeps trying.
For this, my dear boys, I bow to you.
LE: This post was a thank you note for all the support I received from my friends over the last weeks, even if I was so stupid as to keep silence on my need for it. I am very thankful for having you, my dears.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
For my oldest and my newest friend
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red,
Cryin's not for me',
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free,
Nothin's worryin' me!
(B.J. Thomas - Raindrops keep falling on my head)
My dears, here's to you who filled my life with beauty.
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red,
Cryin's not for me',
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free,
Nothin's worryin' me!
(B.J. Thomas - Raindrops keep falling on my head)
My dears, here's to you who filled my life with beauty.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Having the guts
In reading the squirrel’s post about giving and receiving, at first I was speechless. Because he raised a question I could have never asked myself.
What makes you more deserving than another person?
I remember asking the bear sometimes after we were long history: What makes you so sure that you will succeed? He looked me in the eyes and said: Because I deserve it.
Insufferable arrogance, I thought then, and grinned.
But when looking back, I think that was it. Being so secure of the feelings of others (and also of your own) gives you the guts to give them something back.
For I think that people who only take are either egocentric bastards or (in many many cases) just deeply insecure little persons who are afraid that revealing something more of themselves will necessarily give the other an opportunity to hurt them.
But, to come back at the squirrel’s post, if you give little, you will always receive little, or even less.
Surely you can put yourself out there and still receive little or nothing, but still, chances are that, sometimes in space and time, you will find a fellow-lover who is also ready to risk his guts for you.
And that day makes it all worth it after all.
What makes you more deserving than another person?
I remember asking the bear sometimes after we were long history: What makes you so sure that you will succeed? He looked me in the eyes and said: Because I deserve it.
Insufferable arrogance, I thought then, and grinned.
But when looking back, I think that was it. Being so secure of the feelings of others (and also of your own) gives you the guts to give them something back.
For I think that people who only take are either egocentric bastards or (in many many cases) just deeply insecure little persons who are afraid that revealing something more of themselves will necessarily give the other an opportunity to hurt them.
But, to come back at the squirrel’s post, if you give little, you will always receive little, or even less.
Surely you can put yourself out there and still receive little or nothing, but still, chances are that, sometimes in space and time, you will find a fellow-lover who is also ready to risk his guts for you.
And that day makes it all worth it after all.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Arcadia reloaded
Some moments in life leave you with such a feeling of completion, that you know that nothing more to follow will ever beat it. The more miraculous it is when you live many such moments in a row, every each and one being more spectacular in its own way than the previous.
Today, as promised some time ago, I will talk about the squirrel, who is maybe the main reason for a series of sheer unforgivable nice times I have had over the past weeks.
The main reason why the squirrel is a squirrel in the first place, is this enormous energy he has and spreads around him. I think I have never seen the squirrel stand still - even when he sits, his eyes have a glare so alive, that it's like he was moving after all. Hell, even his writing is so nervous and alive, that when reading it, you have the feeling that whole paragraphs have been written in one breath.
On second thought, I guess this is what makes him so blatantly different: his mind is so mobile and of such a bright intelligence, that everything else about him must have adapted to this.
But the thing that made me give him a five star spot in my blog and in my life was the this great warmth and openness he showed me from day one. When living in the midst of people who put "political correctness" over oppinions, feelings and sometimes even over people, meeting a person who is willing to take some risks in order to be your friend is like taking a breath of fresh air after years of living in a dungeon.
For that, dear squirrel, you are on the quick way to becoming one of my best friends. Hmmm...for that and because you somehow knew that, with my friends, I am a hugger and not a kisser :-).
Today, as promised some time ago, I will talk about the squirrel, who is maybe the main reason for a series of sheer unforgivable nice times I have had over the past weeks.
The main reason why the squirrel is a squirrel in the first place, is this enormous energy he has and spreads around him. I think I have never seen the squirrel stand still - even when he sits, his eyes have a glare so alive, that it's like he was moving after all. Hell, even his writing is so nervous and alive, that when reading it, you have the feeling that whole paragraphs have been written in one breath.
On second thought, I guess this is what makes him so blatantly different: his mind is so mobile and of such a bright intelligence, that everything else about him must have adapted to this.
But the thing that made me give him a five star spot in my blog and in my life was the this great warmth and openness he showed me from day one. When living in the midst of people who put "political correctness" over oppinions, feelings and sometimes even over people, meeting a person who is willing to take some risks in order to be your friend is like taking a breath of fresh air after years of living in a dungeon.
For that, dear squirrel, you are on the quick way to becoming one of my best friends. Hmmm...for that and because you somehow knew that, with my friends, I am a hugger and not a kisser :-).
Saturday, March 08, 2008
El grande hangover*
After having a great time yesterday with the squirrel (yesyes, i proudly present the squirrel as the new adddition to this blog), the turtle and la gazelle, i am a proud possessor of a big big head, a thurst that could swallow the Nile and a duck who takes pleasure in calling me "Ms. Balance", as I find it very difficult to hold my balance wearing the above mentioned big big head on my little shoulders.
The good: Having a big big head isn't bad after all, as there are so many ideas cruising to my brain right now - ideas about new blogging and friendship and a whole new philozoophy. And including an introduction of the magnificent squirrel.
The bad: I tried to write this post more than 3 hours ago, including a full description of anti-hangover methods used and their proven efficiency - so to say an experiment on myself. However, this traitor, this Judas of a body of mine didn't let me, and while I had the post all figured out in my head, I found myself trying in vain to log in to my blogger account, as I was inable to type my username right.
The ugly: McDonalds. It's self-explanatory.
On a later edit, i promise i will include the above mentioned full descriptions. Until then, I proclaim as
HERO OF THE DAY: The squirrel, bien sur, for being my feel good person, and otherwise very gorgeous too.
*this trademark is registered with the duck, as it was the first thing he said to me in the morning
The good: Having a big big head isn't bad after all, as there are so many ideas cruising to my brain right now - ideas about new blogging and friendship and a whole new philozoophy. And including an introduction of the magnificent squirrel.
The bad: I tried to write this post more than 3 hours ago, including a full description of anti-hangover methods used and their proven efficiency - so to say an experiment on myself. However, this traitor, this Judas of a body of mine didn't let me, and while I had the post all figured out in my head, I found myself trying in vain to log in to my blogger account, as I was inable to type my username right.
The ugly: McDonalds. It's self-explanatory.
On a later edit, i promise i will include the above mentioned full descriptions. Until then, I proclaim as
HERO OF THE DAY: The squirrel, bien sur, for being my feel good person, and otherwise very gorgeous too.
*this trademark is registered with the duck, as it was the first thing he said to me in the morning
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