Collecting stones

She was looking disappointed, yet somewhat relived when she concluded, after going through hell for several months: "It's a cleansing feeling to lose 90% of the people you thought to be your friends."

90%! I counted: indeed, only a mere 10% of her friends were still there, supporting her when she needed them. I felt lucky to be one of them. At the same time, though, I feared to have to go through the same experience, being let down by people I felt near and struggled so much to call my friends.

But things would come to closure sooner than I thought.

Christmas 2008 was revealing to me. Going through some harsh times, I chose not to write, not to call, not to be nice and not to speak up. To stop being Mrs. goody-two-shoes for once. To stop struggling for love.

And indeed. The 90% wasn't such a high number after all.

Some kitten told me once that holiday wishes are the result of the networking you had done in the previous year. This year, networking finally stopped to be a concern of mine, and Christmas became, in lack of a big meal, in lack of many calls, mails and sms'es, next to the three persons I love most, a feast of pure and simple joy.

Make this a tribute to the duck, the deer, the elephant, the squirrel and the turtle, who managed to show me that it's useless to collect stones.

You are my heroes of 2009.

Subject.

In order to keep the flame burning in a relationship, discussions between lovers ought to be meaningful, deep and true.

The duck-bob household is faithful to this belief.

Topic 1: What happens if a bird gets in the propeller of an airplane? It is dangerous? Do the remains of the bird splash on the airplane window? Do you actually see the blood splashing around?
Time: 45 min.
Result (after calling bob's dad, the final authority in the field): No. Because that would mean that the plane is standing still (centrifugal effect and all). The remains of the bird are pushed towards the back of the propeller. No bloodstains on the windows...
However, if the aiplane has a turboreactor, you're in deep shit if a bird gets in the engine. I hate to be the one to tell you that....have a nice flight!

Topic 2: How many people would have to die so that the bob-duck couple becomes king and queen of Romania?
Time: 25-30 min.
Result: Many many many, as neither bob nor the duck is a Hohenzoller. But then again, after all those people died, aristocracy and all, who would want to be king/queen of a country of peasants? So screw the monarchic dreams of bob-duck!

Deep shit, eh?

:-))))))))

Other news: Went to a wedding today; duck got salmonella poisoning just hours before the wedding (he was the groom's best man), guess weddings scare the crap our of him:))); read "Catcher in the rye" ten years too late - nice book though; ate strawberries for the first time this year; miss some dear friends.

The new man

"Since I started loving the girl, we don't have wild sex anymore, I just feel like caressing her."
"Why can't I have her, that I want, while the other one keeps ringing me?"
"I love you. Come on, go boheme!"
"I would hook up with another girl, but wouldn't that mean that I am unfaithful to her, whom I really love?"
"It's not like we are surrounded by dozens and dozens of women. Sometimes you have to know your limits."
"I wouldn't have slept with her anyway. Why should I meddle in such a long-term relationship, just for an one-night stand?"

Duck, elephant, turtle, squirrel, kitten, meerkat. Some more. All smart, accomplished and gorgeous men.

Being there for me when I needed a a soft shoulder. Asking why I didn't feel well. Telling me I'm beautiful when I needed it. Crying on my shoulder when he felt week. Making me coffee in the morning. Laughing at me when I felt on the street, but being there to pick me up. Forwarding me an email that I wrote ages ago in which I promised I will never stop being thankful for having friends. Calling when I was ill. Calling when I was happy, just to share. Calling when he was happy. Kissing me on the forehead. Being concerned when I lost too much weight. Telling me to look after his ex, because she is so insecure. Teaching me to love. Calling in the middle of the night. Drunk-sms-ing me just to share a feeling. Communicating. Fighting againgst forbidden feelings. Lying out of insecurity. Falling in love and never admitting it. Being jealous. Never leaving me any other choice but to love him.

The new type of man is responsible, shows feelings, speaks up for himself, is surprisingly emancipated, dreams of one great love and keeps trying.

For this, my dear boys, I bow to you.


LE: This post was a thank you note for all the support I received from my friends over the last weeks, even if I was so stupid as to keep silence on my need for it. I am very thankful for having you, my dears.

Calling

Ring ring!

-Hi, honey!
-I've seen ducks on the street. And I stopped the car and let them pass slowly.
-That's so sweet.
-Yeah, ducks have to pay respect to other ducks.

Try not loving that! I dare you:)).

Snuck

You have to know one thing about the duck: Most times he goes undercover.

That is why last night he took me completely by surprise, when he conforted me while being down.

"A snake doesn't go hunting when he just ate", he said, "but always waits until he digested the food, because he needs some rest to regenerate". That was all, and suddenly I understood everything.

So,my dears, I decided I needed some time to lick my past wounds and prepare for new ones.

Until we shall meet again, I proclaim the duck as HERO OF THE DAY, because he manages even now, when we've been together for ages, to leave me speachless in admiring him.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Today, in a fabulous rainy day, I didn't run. I walked easily thorough the rain and let the drops fall on my face and off the tip of my nose, and I was happy, remembering the first time I got drunk with the deer, singing "Raindrops keep falling on my head". I laughed at the trolls being mad with the cold and the rain, at the bus which had a leak through which tiny drops of water fall on a guy's bag, at me taking myself too serious and at me secretly wishing that, for once, I could be a duck too, because ducks never get wet.

And suddenly, with the hot tea and on the phone with some pet i love, all was fine.

Grown-up talk

Yesterday, I had a date with the duck, just like real people do. We called in an emergency dating situation, because due to lack of time we barely see each other anymore (as we actually live together, not seeing each other becomes more of a crisis situation than it usually would be).

So we met after work. And we went to a nice bar we both like very much. They had no free tables. I was suddenly very very tired. So we went home.

A marvellous and very enjoyable date indeed :-) .

HERO OF THE DAY: The duck, because he gets mad over things like me eating biscuits in bed. And then refuses to go to sleep, because there are still biscuit crumbles in the sheets. And for otherwise bringing some sense into my confused little self.

Cool stuff

Today's Bucharest was freezing in every possible way.

So there I was, standing next to the chick and the kitten, a tiny cup of coffee in my hand and trying to steal some warmth from it, as both chick and kitten were freezing and could have used some warmth and sunshine themselves, let alone give me some for myself.

On my way home, I walked the cold streets of the city and thought about the different freezing moments in our lives. And moreover, how absurd it is that we try to be cool day after day, freezing our souls on the way until their are completely paralyzed .

Reaching a cold and unfriendly home, I called the duck in search for a warming word. I didn't find it there, the duck had his cool day today.

At moments like this, people ask you to "chill" and "cool down". Err...guess that should work: I'm freezing to death here, being "cool" with it shouldn't be a problem hence.

What the duck never told me

Yesterday evening, the duck was depressed. It was one of the rare times he shared some of his feelings with me, with a sincerity and openness that startled me at first, only to leave me speachless and feeling guilty afterwards.
He told me about his insecureness, and his being terrified of failure, and I understood what he said but wasn't able to do what he needed. Suddenly I started talking loads and loads of sense and non-sense into him, hoping that between the many many words I would be able to say something to reach him. I hoped to make him understand how valuable he is and determine him to share.
He listened, looked at me,turned away and left.
I guess I never asked him what role he wants me to play in his life.