A very special person told me once that you need to live out your teenage years. If you don't experience them with 16, 17 or 18, then they will follow you around, stay hidden in a deep corner of your soul and burst out when you least expect them, when your life seems set and done, and a straight path lays peacefully before you.
And being a 40 years old teenager with children and a faithful spouse often turns out more dramatically than expected.
Recent events of a friend who passionately lives out her teenage days some years too late make me smile inside for seeing her that dreamy and happy. But seeing the shatters of her former live spread out around her new self makes me worry about the results of such actions and decisions.
Being a teenager pairs with idealism, projecting images of love and beauty on plain people around one's self, loving passionately in spite of all faults and inconsistencies, taking all kinds of decisions just in order to try out what life can get one and what one can get out of life. When you're 16 and still bound to your family and felling cozy in the midst of your beloved, no decision you can make while under the spell of teenage hood, provided you have a balanced background and strong support from your surroundings, can really affect you sustainably. At one point, you can somehow always go back and start all over.
That's the trouble with out-living your teenage years. With 40, you have the power to decide for yourself, and decisions you make will affect you and your beloved for a long time. Going back is far from easy and the amount of pain and trouble coupled with your decisions rises considerably with every year that passes.
As when you grow into adulthood people cease supporting you unconditionally and one-sided and somehow expect balanced feelings and actions from yourself, you can end up facing your decisions all alone.
The whole drama is just about that.
Extreme living sometimes turns into extreme loneliness.
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2 comments:
wow! Sounds very familiar.Bob, how can you be so wise at this age?? It's like while passing from one prior life to another, you managed to cheat, somehow,and kept and remembered all the lessons you've previously learnt.:) Agreed with all, except the conclusion. You might as well live those 16'18 years whenever the time comes, as sooner or later, they will get to you (like you said). cannot escape it.
I'll tell you a secret: I'm not wise, I'm just a passionate listener. The stories people have...unbelievable!
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